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I'm getting in from the bar. Kareoke from hell is the best idea ever: A live kareoke band. Most people had worked for weeks on their songs, or were simply blessed with perfect entertainment skills. A select few, however, had simply been given too much alcohol.

Speaking of, it seems to take me more and more beer to get me drunk lately. I think I ought to keep a record of my alcohol consumption. Maybe I could plot the ounces of beer I drink every night on a graph and discover the mysteries of the universe somewhere within the slope of the curve. It would be like the movie pi, but without the power tools.

I received birthday presents from my family today. It's good to know that they didn't forget. I opened the package to discover that all of the boxes were labled as "unbirthday" presents. For years I've been urging people not to make a big deal out of my birthday. I guess I finally convinced them. It looks as if there's no going back.