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I've been writing in here a lot lately, which doesn't mean that I have a lot to say, but rather, a lot to figure out.

I never did make an attempt at rebuilding my circle of friends after my last gigantic purging of them over a year ago. I've become quite adapt at being alone, but not really. Here it is a Saturday night, I just came back from a play, alone, and I'm online. This is depressing. I need friends, but at the same time, I don't know how to go about having them, or maybe I judt don't want friends. Friends won't make it any easier for me to accomplish my goals in life. Friends will just fill up the empty spaces. I want to be stoic, emotionless, unmovable, and strong. I want to cut through my troubles with a deadpan expression.

I wish I had somebody to talk to right now. I'd settle for somebody to listen to.

No, fuck it, once I say it, I feel it much less. I'll go out, and do whatever I want, alone. Fuck it.