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I'm going to say this once, and only one time, so I hope you're all listening.

Stop posting reviews of the new Vanilla Coke, please. Who cares if you think it's the worst thing you've ever tasted, do you think your opinion is going to affect the actions or sales of a multinational conglomerate like Coke? The answer is no. Saying it sucks will only cause more people to buy it, just so they can find out if it really sucks. I say this because I'm holding a bottle of it in my hand. I wasn't planning on ever bying a bottle of vanilla coke, but so many people had to buy into this new buzz, and start buzzing themselves, that I just had to have a taste of it. I am not pleased about this, and yes, I realize that I too am now spreading the buzz. Look at me, I'm a fucking soda comercial. This is what my life has become, I am an advertisement for what I consume.

Let this be a warning to you kids. You don't want to turn out like me. Stop now, before it's too late.