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I'm not a shy person, but I generally tend to keep to myself. This used to be because I had an acute fear of social situations, but now it's merely because I am content with my own company.

Once you put four or five beers in me, everything changes. Last night, I was described as "the social lubricant." This title, in addition to sounding kinda dirty, didn't strike me as fitting for my personality. "I'm not a social guy," I thought, "I'm just a quiet guy who enjoys asking strangers to make out with each other."

Why would I be the social lubricant? I can't really remember what happened last night. Perhaps I got so drunk that I acted the fool, therefore easing the tension for everybody else. Although this would be a fitting defenition of "social lubricant," I know it's not the image that the user of the term had in mind.

I vaguely remember being offered and accepting the status of "Natve Portlander" from a group of kids who have lived here their whole life. I 'm sure that wouldn't have happened had I been acting foolish.

This does present me with another mystery: Why am I so worthy of being recognized as a native Portlander? I'm not sure what happened last night, but it seems to be a direct contrast to the depression that has characterized my life lately.

And now comes the greatest mystery of all: should I really consider not drinking? I was going to, but after this, I'm pretty sure I should continue without any inhibitions. Waking up and thinking "I got so drunk, I can't remember why I'm so fucking AWESOME," does not seem to qualify as a reason to stay off the sauce. I'm pretty sure that if I went into an AA meeting and said "I haven't had a drink since last Friday when I was at a party and gave an entire room of undancing people an impromptu lecture on dance-theory, complete with examples of various moves," they would just say "get out of here, you social lubricant, you belong at the bar."

P.S. Last night, I wore a santa hat that was once worn by Chuck Palahniuk at a meeting of the cacauphony society. For a dollar, you can touch my head.