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I'm so happy I can hardly contain myself.

I'll tell you now that this isn't going to come out right, because even after working a shitty friday night shift, I have so much energy I can barely sit down. Where do I start? Here's a bit of dialogue from this afternoon:

LISA: So, can you wear those clothes at work?

ME: No, I broght my work clothes to change into later.

LISA: Oh, did you need to change here?

ME: I was going to change at work.

LISA: Oh, Of course, if you changed here, you'd get your work clothes all sweaty after you got on your bike...

ME: Are you just trying to find a reason to get me naked?

LISA: Yeah, pretty much.

ME: Sweet! (pause) I thought you were seeing somebody?

LISA: Um, It's not exclusive. I've never been in a relationship like this before. It's kinda weird.

ME: So, what you're saying is that I still have a chance with you?

LISA: (without hesitation) Yes!

ME: Awesome.

Lisa is a girl who I'm slowly developing more and more of an infatuation with. She's a talented photographer and is always teaching me more about photography. She's 4 years younger than I am, and has probably read more books than me. She has well thought out opinions about every movie she has ever seen, but never sounds like a know-it-all when she talks about them. She collects old typewriters. On top of all of this, she's fucking hot as all hell, and for some strange reason, treats me with the most endearing affections.

Also important to consider is the fact that she's already got at least one other boyfriend. It's a phase she's going through, and she's very aware of the nature of the phase. I caught onto it soon after I met her, possibly before she did. She had recently broken up with her boyfriend, and felt it necessary to embark on a period of exploration. She and I had a little bit of passion then, but I knew for certain that I wanted to be more than just some rebound guy for her, so I distanced myself.

After I had almost forgotten her, she send me an email one day. "I had a dream about you last night. weird." That's all it said, and I still have not asked her what the dream was about, although I think I might bring it up tomorrow, if she keeps her promise of seeing me.

She's broken many promises already; I must remember this. However, She always did have a valid reason. Most recently, it was because she was moving, which is a very understandable reason to forget calling somebody back. She made it up to me by cooking me dinner, at which time the previously stated dialogue took place. She apologized to me a thousand times for not calling me, and I gave her a hard time about it for the entire visit.

Until, of course, it came time to kiss her goodbye. I could no longer maintain my detatchment. I wanted to throw her on her bed and make her right then, but instead, I pulled myself away again, and left her with those big eyes staring back at me from beneath her thick glasses.

I could talk about her all night, going nowhere. I've never wanted any girl like I've wanted her. She is one of those girls that makes me forget all those that came before. She is one of those girls that could tear my world apart.

I hope she gets over this stupid non-exclusve thing she's involved in. I know she's getting sick of it.

God, I'm a rambling idiot.