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Still underemployed and searching for more work, some days I can't even pull my self off the couch to face reality. I'm still staying at the same place I've been living at since I arrived back in Portland. I have my own room, but only a pile of blankets for a mattress, so I spend most nights on the living room sofa. I wasn't able to pay rent this month, but my roommate was able to cover for me. If I can't make it again in February, his old lady will cover him. That's what people who know him call his girlfriend, because she's so much older than him (twice his age) that it makes you cringe and crack jokes about her behind his back. If she didn't help us out with bills so much, I would be very quick to point out to my desperate-for-love roommate how wrong the relationship is for him. But, I haven't been asked my opinion, so I don't give it.

It goes without saying, I want to work as hard as I can, save some money, and move out of this Jerry Springer episode. I've had interviews, second-interviews, call-backs, and drop-in conversations with many managers. I'm mostly trying to find a job as a waiter, but I will take anything at this point. Still, no job. This is getting very discouraging. I wish I could have taken my L.A. job here with me. The only thing I didn't like about it is that it was in L.A.

I wish I had money to develop my film. If I did, I would probably spend it on food. I'm not above begging for money on the internet. I have a paypal account. I think the account is at [email protected]