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Last night I had a dream that they put an insert into every copy of the Oregonian newspaper--FREE DUCK SEEDS!! All you had to do was add water, and voila--instant ducks. It wasn't long before the ducks started taking over the town, complicating everyday tasks with the nuisance of superfluous ducks. Except for the excessive duck droppings, it wasn't going too bad until the nasty feathered beasts became hungry, and started attacking people, gnawing them to death with their greedy duck bills. It was no longer safe to walk the streets without protection. Windows and doors had to be latched tightly at night, otherwise the bloodthrirsty ducks would break in and terrorize us all. It was then that I realized that it wasn't a dream; I had left the window open for a killer duck to break in and it was now latched on to my arm. Still blurry eyed from sleeping, I tried to swat at it to get it off, but this thing was determined. I shook my hand around and banged it against my nightstand, but the duck didn't budge.

Then I opened my eyes, pulled the covers off of my face, and remembered I'm still wearing a cast, not a duck.