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It's Friday night. wow. Excuse me if I don't sound enthusiastic about this, I've never cared much about weekends. My roommate wanted me to go barhopping with him. I've been living here two weeks and I'm already starting to get sick of his attempts to be social. He's my roommate, why would I want to spend any more time with him than I needed to?

So I've just been sitting here, listening to the rain and the noise of summer weekends. I like being alone. it's pure, uncomplicated.

I was thinking that there hasn't been a good party since 2000.

No. There hasn't been a good party since 1998.

No. There hasn't been a good party since 1995.

No. There hasn't been a good party since 1986.

No. I don't like parties.

The good old days get exponentially farther away as life progresses.

When I'm 60, I'll feel nostalgic about wearing diapers.

When I'm 90, I'll fell nostalgic about not wearing diapers.

When people ask me if I ever want to have children I say "no, I want to grow up to be a bitter old man."

and it's true in a way. There's already a population problem, why should I reproduce just to fullfill my own selfish desires? So what if I'll be miserable, enlightenment comes from suffering, right? But maybe the only thing i can learn from wanting to suffer is that I shouldn't want to.

If I had a kid, I would answer his questions as bluntly as possible:

Babies usually come out through their mothers' vaginas, but sometimes they have to cut open their stomaches to get them out of there.

At work I perform unrewarding tasks all day for a boss who I would love to see dead. The end product of this is making money for a corporate system that enslaves the world so that I can obtain a small portion of the earnings I have created for them, and if you don't become an artist real quick, you'll have to do the same.

The sky is blue because the atmosphere blocks out all the other colors in the visible spectrum. The sky is all those other colors because George Bush didn't think the Kyoto treaty was important, and allowed industries to overheat the world to the point where the ice caps started melting, and soon we will all be underwater, and nobody will save us. Our bloated bodies will float to the surface, but we won't feel anything, because we'll be dead.

When we die, I think we just decompose, but I don't know. You'll find out soon enough anyway. You only have 80 or 90 years to live, if you're lucky. That's just the blink of an eye in this dying world destined to someday be engulfed by the sun, not that it will happen in you lifetime, but someday, the whole planet will be vaporized when the star it orbits around expands and then burns out.

Just something to think about, kid. Now run along and play.

Despite all the rewards of being able to tell a kid these things, I still don't think I'll ever want one. I want to be alone. The only problem with that is, I want to find somebody to be alone with, somebody that doesn't make me want to be alone.

I went over to my friend's place in the tower. We smoked some pot, but then his friends came over looking for coke. They couldn't get any, so they decided to get speed. They were already really tweaked out, so I left.

If I was a prophet I would say that I see a future where the teachings of the Tibetan monks become entwined into a faction of Chinese society the way that Christianity did in ancient Rome. The goverment eventually decides to accept Buddhism, and then use it to control the populous. After all, doesn't all teaching have a potential to be a form of control? The strength, numbers, and developing economic powers of the new China will allow them to build an empire that conquers the world for an era that spreads their culture throughtout the globe before they break up into rivaling factions. Some two-hundred or dozen years later, one of the empire's ancient rivals will embrace their philosophies and build an empire much stronger than the one before, sending soldier monks throughout the galaxy to seek enlightenment with plasma charged death-rays.

But I'm not a prophet, so i'm not predicting any of those things.

Tonight I watched a towtruck take a car from it's parking place, then listened as it's drunk owners returned to wonder what happened to their vehicle.