I never want to see a retirement home


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101622156

I've narrowed the ways I might die down to four final possibilities:

1) A car traveling at twice the speedlimit jumps the curb while I'm walking down the sidewalk and collides with me in mid-air. (Okay, so this I'm certain of, the rest are just silly things that bother me for no reason.)

2) Brain tumor.

3) Chopped to bits by female serial killer or jealous ex-girlfriend.

4) Stabbed to death as a result of a skirmish with a stranger. (This one's pretty likely to happen too, and almost has a few times, but I'm pretty sure I'll be hit by a car before anybody ever gets around to stabbing me.)



{A} {E} {I} {O} {U} & {Y}

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