81324

Just another wandering American, trying to figure out what life's all about, I got sick of Colorado, didn't like California. I ended my journey in Oregon, but only because travel became stressful. I've been here two years now, and still don't know exactly what sets this city apart from the rest and makes me want to live here, but this is what I know now. It's good to know where you are. It's good to see familiar faces. Trouble is, I always see the same face, on every stranger I meet. I can't tell them apart really, after awhile all these people look the same. I see it in me too. What sets me apart? Where's my individuality? What have I done other than eat, shit, breathe, and attempt to make life attractive, just like everybody else? Maybe I'm missing something, but I can't seem to think of anybody in history who has done anything that can't be described as those four things. (Drinking is a combination of the first, and the last on the list.) Sure, we all do it differently, but when it comes down to it, we don't have the freedom to do anything outside of those choices. Even self-destruction and terrorism are ways in which people choose to make life more attractive, because when you make an effort to reveal the torment that exists in the world, essentially you are opening people's eyes to how beautiful everything else is. People see beauty in the pain of others, even if it's difficult to experience, it reminds them how precious their own suffering is.

I thought that if I gave myself the freedom to go anywhere and do anything, I would experience a sense of enlightenment, but so far, what I've learned can be described as such: life sucks and I've been having a hard time holding it together.