81721957

I've been having lots of troubles with my school email account; it hasn't been sending all of my messages. I got sick of explaining this over and over, so I made up this story to explain those details that nobody cares about anyway. I sent it out once, and was tempted to forward it to everybody that has had an email erased by my account, but instead, I'll just show you here:

As soon as I read your letter, I wrote you an email that would put all other emails to shame. It was the pinacle achivement of electronic communication. The moment I finished it, I stepped back, basked in all of it's glory, and said to myself, someday, people will travel across three galaxies to read this email, because the words it contains have the power to unravel the mysteries of the universe, and give meaning to everything. That email was obviously the crowning achievement of all humanity. After reading what I wrote, I saw history in a new light; all of our works and our suffering led up to the creation of that message from me to you, and suddenly, like I said, everything just made sense.

Such a powerful email couldn't just be sent right away, oh no. I hit the 'save draft' button so that I could review it again later. I figured I better contact the UN, the Dali Lama, Stephen Hawkin, and the Pope, and get their opinion on such a message. Is it possible that the power of this email could be used to make a weapon? Should the information in this email be treated like nuclear secrets? Could sending such an email create an email-race with other countries, China perhaps, causing us to live in constant panic that someday, the power of our email might be superceded by another? Could an email powerful enough lead to the instantaneous recollapsing of the universe? So, you can see why I didn't send it right away. Welllll..... guess what? Stupid motherfuckin psu webmail destroyed my draft, so you can forget all about finding answers to all of those questions.

-Tony

P.S. If you have any advice on how I should explain this to Kofi, Stephen, John Paul, and the Dali Lama when their planes arrive, let me know.