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It's my birthday, and everybody went out drinking without me.

I wonder what could have made them want to do that?

I wonder if it had anything to do with me saying "I don't want to go out tonight. I don't feel like talking to anybody."

I am so fucking lame.

"As anyone who doesn't have it can see, the Eeyore attitude gets in the way of things like wisdom and happiness, and pretty much prevents any sort of real accomplishments in life." -Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh

I was having a perfectly good birthday browsing the shelves of the Hawthorne Powell's, making every attempt to let the silence of the aisles pass right through me. I started to take notice of things such as how many attractive girls go book shopping on a Saturday night, the fact that the metaphysics section takes up two aisles, but the only philosophy titles that can be found are lumped in with literary criticism which only spans three or four shelves, and every two feet in the art section is a note that reads something like "stealing art books is bad for your soul."

I was enjoying this birthday non-celebration, until I went to pay for my selections and the clerk noticed my signature had rubbed off of my visa card. Nobody ever notices this, until today. She asked for my ID, and upon recognizing that today is my birthday AND saturday night, and I was browsing Powell's alone, she gave me a look as if I was leper begging for change.

Dammit, normal people have FUN on their birthday. I am so fucking lame.

P.S. It took me until 7:55 a.m. for me to get to sleep due to an anxiety attack. I know it wasn't 8:00 yet, because that's the time at which I would have showered and made coffee. My alarm clock went off at 9:00, but I didn't hear it until after 11:00. I missed the start of the zine symposium, and decided to just skip the whole thing. After all, it's my birthday, I don't have to go just because I planned to for the last week. It's still going on tomorrow, but I may skip it altogether, but I still plan on writing/designing the zine as originally planned.